Yes, I’m Superwoman

I know sounds bizarre, but when your BF says “You are Superwoman” (we won’t mention that I texted him “Help!” then followed by “Tell me I’m superwoman and I will get all this done” and of course he obliged.. then I responded with “Thank u. It’s more believable when u say it” ) it’s actually believable…. I spent a fabulous day with my niece. I worked a while then played in the pool, lunch at the fair, then back here to work.  So of course that time spent was priceless.  Now it’s time to get busy…. and I literally just had a meltdown…. right there (you can’t see me, but I’m pointing to the spot).

Where do you start?  I’m starting with coffee… be right back.  Ok, I just came up with the greatest concoction EVER and I mean E.V.E.R.  First off I love my Keurig second, half hot chocolate, half medium roast Starbucks and then throw in some vanilla creamer and YUM!

Next I’m started with a few projects that are timeline… I still use Toodledo.  If you look back at one of my first blogs I tried it out.  Well, it’s working.  Especially when I have nights like this where I can sit and work nonstop.  It really helps me to work straight through on specific projects for different clients I work with.  It’s great!

Not to mention, did I say my BF is kinda amazing… well he is… be jealous! I don’t know about you but I like having him around and after almost 4 months he still finds me cute and amusing (yes I’m surprised too).  And yes this picture I’m leaving you with I actually sent it to him…

Peace out friends :)

P.S. It took me literally 4 tries to spell concoction.

P.S.S. Your welcome Starbucks, Toodledo and Keurig for the shout outs I do it because I love you!

P.P.S.S. Yes, I’ve edited this 4 times and this last one… going for another amazing hot chocolate/ Starbucks/ vanilla goodness…

2 weeks and nuggets

2 weeks from when I dropped my lil letter to the boss man and 2 weeks left of work for him.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Pardon me, I just had to get that out.  It has been amazing to see things fall into place like nuggets… God nuggets… more on that in a hot minute!

You would think this highly motivated and sometimes overly caffeinated person would have got SO MUCH done but oh no… she hasn’t!  Not to give any excuses but I have been working to train and wrap up projects at work and then the part time job and of course that BF thing that is oddly still amazing… :).  Ok, enough excuses!

So where does that leave us?  God nuggets… oh yea!  So the week I put my notice in, scheduled vacay and a week with a GF and her kids in FL and realized it’s coming up on a year in my apartment!  That means moving time and low and behold being a ‘self-employed’ it is harder to rent with out a paystub… Guess what?!  I have to give 60days notice… that means I have to make some quick decisions but praise God it is when I have a paystub!  Then another lil blessing falls right into my lap.. A new place to live with a roomie?!  More on that in another blog…

Back to the excuses… well I got back home today and got my lil self together and unpacked. Then been in front of this computer the rest of the evening.  I did however slip away for a quick run… like real quick.  I’m starting to fall out of shape and with vacation coming up well duh! Bathing suits and these lil love handles got to go! Well anyways as I’m running I’m huffing and puffing.  That is NO BUENO!  Especially with your BF can knock out 5 miles and still be all chipper.  Not fair!  So I run.

…..God nuggets I tell you!  Things are just lining up and I had no clue they needed aligning!

One last thing… this whole blogging thing.  Well it has to get better.  I have been flying ‘under the radar’ and not promoting myself.  It might be time to start social media’ing this thing up!  And it is def. time to start writing more!

Ok one last thing (for real this time)… had an amazing weekend with the BF and his fam.  Spent almost 10 hours in the car with him and his parents and my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much!  We made a pit stop on the way… can you guess where we are at?

 

Resignation

Oh snap!
I did it.
Typed up a resignation letter.
Handed it to the boss.

As of Monday, June 11, 2012, I, Jen Raney, took the leap of faith, and quit my day job to follow a dream. A dream that is now a reality. After six months of trying to work full time, a part time job and my biz on the side, I had enough.  I can’t do it all.  And doing it all is not what makes me happy.  I have wanted to work for myself for such a long time, but had a huge fear of failing.  A fear of what others would think.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of 10 years down the road and regretting not trying won that fight.  Up until now, the last 5 or so years of my life I have spent fighting. Fighting for what I believe in, my happiness, and for what I ‘feel’ God had for me. What would make this any different? I’ll tell you… I’m putting 110% trust in the Lord that He will provide.  Yea, I trust God. Yea, I trusted Him in relationships and ‘stuff’, but I haven’t financially.  I tithe pretty consistently.  I give extra when I have it.  But I’ve been holding back.

There has been signs.
Confirmation from close friends, family and mentors.
Extra pushes from loved ones saying “you can do it”
I’m starting to come around.

Monday was so emotional.  I had an amazing weekend with amazing people.  Work was heavy on my mind.  I wanted to get back into the Marketing but due to circumstances it was a tough fight to keep that focus with added responsibility.  I had allowed myself to get emotionally attached there.  Its a great place. Beautiful place. Good people.  But something was missing. I’m still not sure what that something was or is, but it’s not there. And it is affecting me.  After a lot of soul searching, praying, talking, listening, crying, and pleading it was obvious what needed to be done.

Several years ago I had an idea. That idea turned into a project. Project turned into a client.  Client turned into a check and so on.  A close friend of me stated, “Jen, one day we are going to look back with awe of where God has brought you.” At that point in my life I was already amazed where He brought me from.  I wasn’t expecting this.

It’s happening.
Holy Crap I’m doing it.
Changes. And scared to death.

Change is good. I like change. It stretches you. Makes you tougher.  This change is insane!  I went through my budget making a list of things to cut out. Trying to balance out finishing out my ‘term’ before I officially am resigned and trying to get the biz going is overwhelming. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and I should be further along than I am.  Oh and then doubt sets in.  Can I really do this? Am I good enough? Will I be able learn and grow my skills? Can I make a living from this?

This is the part that is pretty neat…. since I’m struggling with believing in myself, God strategically put people in my life to be that extra nudge.  Family- my lil prayer warrior sister who drives me crazy but when I need her to lay aside our differences she steps up and be’s just what I need her to be.  My dad saying, ‘you know it, do what makes you happy. God will work it out’.  Mentor, “you have favor… so walk in it”.  Friends saying “why not?!”. A BF that says, “i believe in you and I’m for you” a God that is more powerful and all knowing.  And here am I…. kicking and screaming the whole way.  Well they win.  I’m not saying I don’t have doubts and in myself, but I’m going to give this all I got.  So stick around, because big things are ahead.  I do believe that.

P.S. Before I accepted what I was about to do and while I was out with the BF we went shopping!  Mind you, this is probably the last time I’m going to be able to spend like this… but I’m so excited!  If you know me I love Coach! So I picked up a new purse :) Also, due to limited funds and being on a budget I’m canceling my gym membership. Thankfully I bought this lil numbers!

I’ve ran two 5K’s so far this year and I’m signed up for at least one more.  The goal is to work toward a mini.  I rarely run outside though.  This is my motivation to change that. Apparently these are the best when it comes to running shoes.

 

I’ll keep you posted :)

 

Picking up

It has come to my attention that I really am crazy.  No, really I am.  Yesterday, I was in such a funk.  All day I was on my couch.  I watched movies, ate sushi for lunch and pizza for dinner.  I briefly ran up to TJ Maxx Home goods to shop.  Even gave myself a $100s to throw away and walked out with nothing in my hands.  My apartment was disgusting.  And yet, I just ignored it.  Then had a major break down with the BF which I basically asked for space from him that day.

The conclusion of the matter: THAT IS NOT ME!  I don’t like being down and I can  not function when my little space is a mess.  It literally puts me in a fog.  I know I’m crazy… And second, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing with this whole relationship thing.  Praise God this man has some serious patience when it comes to me, because I don’t think we could survive the distance if he didn’t.

Today, I woke up still in that same funk.  I started in on some good therapy (cleaned my apartment) and halfway through I called up the BF and word vomited the rest of what was on my mind.  Then tanned and started getting myself organized for the week before I head to the office.  I def. wanted to get there earlier but I know I’ll have a better afternoon for taking care of me first.  As of now, as I’m writing this, feeling a million times more normal… well my normal… which who knows how to define that! lol.

I’m just thankful I’m not doing all this alone.  I try to be so self-sufficient and independent, but the truth is, I need to be close to God, I need that relationship to be stronger, I need to seek Him more.  Because the closer I get to Him the less frequent these freak outs happen.  And I’m thankful for the people He has placed in my life, right now… Fam, BF, friends, work, etc.

So… picking up where I left off and getting ready for work.  Here’s to a fabulous work week!

 

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